Moving and
Exposure
By Nina Benson
I recently had
the task of packing my house of fifteen years and moving. FAST! (A very long, sad story that takes some major unpacking, but, for another time). However, for now it's important to understand that I was under direst!
While, I would
not suggest moving under direst circumstances; you do get to see the raw
you. The you that you don’t see often; unless you have circumstances that come upon you suddenly, that rips the rose
colored glasses that everyone wears, from your eyes, (we all wear them), then you are suddenly thrust, (defined as a
sudden or violent lunge… a forceful attack or effort, (it almost sounds like
rape – the forceful removal of ones rose colored glasses. It's a taking of
innocence and being thrust into a world full of incomprehensible horrors), into
the light that EXPOSES everything so clearly. What has happened really has the making for a reality t.v. show. No one could ever write this stuff; let alone live this without God.
The exposure of the light isn't bad, just very painful to the eyes. It's funny and odd; as blind as we are with the rose colored glasses before the light; the truth of the light exposes and makes you see more clearly - in ways you never thought you would or could.
You see;
normally, when moving you have time to plan, tidy as you go along, and then the
big day comes, family and friends come. You laugh and joke and pack and you move… And you’re off onto the next big
adventure.
But, under direst
circumstance, it's a little different. Here are some synonyms for direst that I just couldn’t pass up
because they are all so fitting:
1 terrible, dreadful,
appalling, frightful, awful, atrocious, grim, alarming; grave, serious,
disastrous, calamitous, ruinous, hopeless, irretrievable, wretched, desperate,
parlous; formal grievous.
2 urgent, desperate,
pressing, crying, sore, grave, serious, extreme, acute, drastic.
3 ominous, gloomy,
grim, dismal, unpropitious, inauspicious, unfavorable, pessimistic.
From
the New Oxford American Dictionary
To move under
such circumstances within a month you don't have time to clean up your act, to laugh or joke and there is no anticipation of a big adventure. There is only the big unknown and everything that was you, is suddenly exposed for all to see.
You find a ton of old stuff that you thought, once upon a time; you'd get to it and decide what to do with it, but when moving so quickly you have to make decisions on a dime, because the next thing is coming to light. I remember reeling from the shear number of decisions I had to make that were so foreign to me. It was overwhelming and I was angry and felt alone - because I was - abandoned.
I didn't want folks to see my boxes, see my need, see my dirt, (especially my dirt), see the stuff that I had always meant to take care of...one day, but didn't.
Everything was all out there on the proverbial table for everyone to see. It didn't matter to me that everyone else has stuff - this was my stuff that was exposed! And I simply couldn't gather it up fast enough to even try to tidy it... To make sense of it all... To offer some explanation, some reasoning for my decisions or lack thereof, let alone explain others decisions and actions...
Sin is just like this; once it's out in the open
Everyone has sin, but we pretend we don't, (at least, we pretend that our sin is really inconsequential - de minimis). It's all hidden away, packed away, stored in boxes that are way away in some closet that you never go in, let along let others go in; especially the darkest deepest ones... but, when it's all suddenly exposed to the light... When something happens that causes those closet doors, those pad locked drawers, those boxes under the stairs to be yanked out, opened up, torn open - then everyone sees what you have. It's embarrassing, it's ugly, it's frightful... and you think...life will never be the same...
It's not supposed to be...
 |
| My Orchid is yet blooming through it all - only God! |
When light illuminates the dark - darkness is banished, which is a beautiful thing.
What was hidden is no longer and has no power. While sin is hidden you must control it. You must do something with it. Sin demands your attention always.
...But praise God, when His light, breaks into the hidden darkness ... You walk uprightly in the glorious light of your Heavenly Father God. He looks at me, sees me and yet loves me...
Soli Deo Gloria
Nina
